I spent years at war with my body and sexuality
My deep desire to be embodied yet I was plagued by the rules of society to be a “good girl” and cringed every time someone told me I would “make someone really happy one day” as though that was supposed to be a prized compliment.
Late in life, I found myself in the role of the good wife even though I had never intended to be there; but I wasn’t sure how to get out of it.
We were made for more than just being a “good” girl
Self care is sacred.
We have been brainwashed into thinking that we must give all ourselves for redemption, to be liked, and to have our needs met.
We have struggled with the contradiction of either being the Madonna or the whore; we must be just desirable *enough* in order to find someone to be in relation with but not too much that they don’t want to “bring us home”.
We have twisted ourselves inside out in order to fit in at work, with our relationships, and our families but we know that it is slowly diminishing our flame.
And we were never initiated into our bodies; how to deeply care for them with the same reverence as we do for others.
I came home to myself when I realized the pain of living a life that wasn’t meant for me was greater than making changes to be fully embodied in who I knew I was.
I tended to the wounds of my good girl that just wanted to be accepted. I healed my relationship to my sisters and laid down the lies about always being alone in the world.
I returned to practices that rekindled my deep relationship to nature and living by the cycles of the moon and seasons.
And I allowed myself to express my wild, weird, magical, witchy, and sensual self in all facets of my life.
I did it through ceremony, saying f*ck you to the Patriarchy, and became the Matriarch that I was meant to be.
